Thursday, September 29, 2005
The exams are finally over. Just as the holidays begin, I fell sick... That's so cool... When, hopefully I get better soon. Am missing the outdoors. And basketball!
Life goes on...
Friday, September 09, 2005
Its been quite awhile since I last stepped into this haven of mine. And I've realised how much I've neglected my blog.
Time has come and gone and many things happened, some of which I wasn't expecting.
Never thought that I'd feel jealous seeing a guy close to my girl. He is one of my best friends in class, someone whom I do find joy and pleasure hanging out with. Natually, there would be alot of contact between him and my girl. After all, we are all in the same class, he is close to me, I'm close to her, we hang out alot together plus the fact that my girl is pretty much very outgoing.
But I just never expected myself to feel jealous. I don't want to. I just cant' help it. This feeling wasnt' there initially. It just came as time went on. I wish I could stop it. I wish I didn't feel it. I wish I could just bottle it all up. But I couldn't... It was like seeing my previous relationship happen all over again.
I know my girl is faithful and will be. But I just feel so weird...
I guess she sensed it too. She asked about it. I denied it initially but her persistence finally made me confessed. She said she was starting to worry if I would get jealous and all. She did also mention that she felt she was getting too close to him and there are people who thought that they were together.
Over the course of the next few days, somehow, the contact between him and her dwindled.
Somehow I feel I'm the cause of all this. I don't wish for this to happen. If only I had better control over my feelings and take a more logical approach to such issue then maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just what am I doing?
Exams are round the corner. Am feeling the stress. Who isn't. Why am I still finding myself with so much left untouched, so many doubts un-clarified and so little time left? Maybe I just haven't really found the balance.
I'm so tired...
Life goes on...