Thursday, September 28, 2006
I gaze up and watch the clouds roll by.
Oh how glorious and mystique is the sky,
if i lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Saturday, September 23, 2006
There's so much going at home... I just don't feel like its home anymore. Then again, it never felt like it anyway. Perhaps you guys might think this is just a passing phase. No its not. I've never really felt like it was home. No one to talk to, everyone's so busy. I don't even talk to my parents about my problems.
Mom's having depression... Reason being my sister scored a grand fantastic total of 150/300 for her PSLE prelims. Dad's worried sick over mom. And well... There's me.
See, the thing at home is, Dad is not someone you would talk to when you have problems. And Mom having her depression is extremely sensitive and tend to mis-interpret things all the time. And when you tell her stuff and she gets worried and all, the next thing you'll find is Dad charging at you telling you to shut up.
Sister is inapproachable if that is the right word. I have absolutely neither trust nor respect for her. I guess over the years, they just dwindled away. Not to mention the maturity it takes to understand what exactly in the world is going on.
Can't wait to get out of this place. I need to breathe...
Perhaps on a brighter note, I've been invited to another scholarship talk held by DSTA (Defense Science Tech Agency). Had to ask my Dad twice before he was willing to attend it with me. In fact, when I told him I was invited, he merely gave a nod.
Life goes on...
Friday, September 22, 2006
Well... As friend, to know the pain that another is going through without the ability to help really pains me. Seeing my friend going through the very same relationship set back made me pretty sad. Having gone through it before, there is really nothing much others can do other then being there. The rest is up to him/her to walk out of it. It has to be done...
The only question is, Time...
God bless her.
Life goes on...
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
He needs somebody to love (somebody to love)
sent from heaven above
he’s searching for that perfect situation
Perfect Love
Friday, September 15, 2006
Well, spent the evening with Glenda at Brewerks today. Was suppose to have a 50% discount on the meal but I guess due to a little mishap, there was only 15%. Which resulted in a huge hole in my pocket right now. Haha... Anyway, that was not the point. Had alot of fun no doubt...
But strangely, this is starting to feel rather, distant...
Life goes on...
Sunday, September 10, 2006
This holiday has been different from all the rest I've had.
Somehow, I get this feeling that God is trying to tell me something. Lately, the things that have been happening around me always revolved around that.
I think that God is telling me or rather teach me something that I lack. I lack compassion, patience and love. I have been too selfish and arrogant to see all that until now.
I never knew that kind of feeling existed in me. Its like, something I've never experienced or felt before. First it was the drama, 1 Litre of Tears and then tonight, on channel 5 was this movie, I am Sam. I'm not sure if you watched it, but it awoke the feelings deep inside of me.
Its the compassion that you have for those around you - those who are less fortunate.
Its the patience that you show to those who are not as gifted or talented as you.
Its the love that you show to your friends and family. And everyone else around you.
You shine with radiance like the undying Sun. Showering everyone with your warmth, love and joy.
Words become blurry as tears well up in my eyes as I type this. Could this be my calling?
Has God been answering my question?
"God created EnSabathNur. But why?"
Life goes on...