Thursday, August 31, 2006
Imagine...
You are just 15 years of age - young and full of life with hopes and promises of what the future may bring. Then one day, you find that you are struck with a disease. An incurable disease.
You start by often stumbing when you walk, losing your balance and falling over.
Slowly and surely your hands and limbs fail you.
You write and walk no more.
Speech would then take its turn and leave you.
What is left? What's left is a mind that is as alert as anyone else but a body that is dead. That's just how cruel this disease is.
This is the life of a Japanese girl named, Aya as documented by a drama series, 1 Litre of Tears (http://www.youtube.com/profile_videos?user=MoCaJJaR&page=1).
During her 5 years of ordeal, she fought on, every single day in hope that one day, she may be cured. But life just isn't fair.
She had to quit the school basketball team, boyfriend left her, forced to quit school and slowly watch her body whittler away.
I cried... I cried like I never did. Because her courage overwhelmed me and I've been humbled after watching this drama series. The little things that we take for granted in life meant so much to her. I admit, I am not as strong as she is.
And she asked time and time again what is her purpose in life? And I ask myself what is mine?
Despite being sick, she seeked to help those around her. By penning her thoughts in a diary and not giving up, she inspired those around her not to give up and do what they can do today.Her diary sold more than 18 000 000 copies.
This series has really brought me down. Humbled me. Made me feel humane again. Above all, she taught me courage, determination and never to give up.
What is your purpose in life?
The last words she said were, "Live on, Live on forever..."
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
A huge sigh of relieve is most appropriate...
All my exams are finally over and the holidays have started. Barely into my first week of holiday and already I am suddenly filled with boredom. Always looking ahead, wondering what should I do tomorrow. Many old friends to catch up with and when you try to, they come across as a stranger more than a friend. *sighs*
Perhaps the huge sigh of relieve is because for one whole month, I won't have to see her...
I will treasure every day, every hour, every minute, every second...
Life goes on...
Monday, August 21, 2006
Lately, this song, Mr Lonely has been getting to me quite a bit. The feeling's miserable.
When I'm alone in the vast, empty lecture hall and I play that song on my phone, I would think of the people around me. What would they be doing? Together having fun? Perhaps with their love ones? And here I am, all alone, mugging my ass off. Then again, at least that way, no one will see the weakness in me.
Its strange how, when you are attached, you take the things around you for granted. And when it starts to all fall apart, only then do you regret. Seeing the both of them together just brings back so many memories and more often than not, the thought that, "That used to be me" would spring up.
Revenge is a dish best served cold and a knife in the back would be the ulitmate gift...
Life goes on...
Saturday, August 12, 2006
I returned to the place where it all began...
.
Only to be overwhelmed by my memories and
.
tears that roll with excrutiating pain
.
like a knife through a broken heart.
Life goes on...
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
I don't know what to say... Other than I am damn unlucky.
Class ended early today. All the noon classes were cancelled or have already finished for this term. So we decided to head out to Clementi for lunch and some LAN gaming.
Pior to that, we spent like 30 mins or so in class watching videos on youtube.com. I requested for the music video of Unfaithful by Rihanna which I recommend everyone to watch. I suppose there was a purpose for that request.
Just as I turned around to look at those who were siting at the back, I saw him heading out through the back door and in the midst of doing so, put his hand on her left cheek and slowly move across to her lips and finally to her right cheek as he passed her.
And I had to be so lucky as to turn around at that particular moment to see that.
No matter, I ignored... Or rather tried to ignore no matter how many times that scene replayed in my mind. We got sick of watching videos and made our way to the MRT. Just then, I so happen to yet again see her trying to hold his hand.
After that, I had half my mind set on going home for lunch instead.
Just can't seem to stand this nonsense anymore!
Thank God the next semester which is also the last, is only 15 weeks.
My friend asked me, "when you requested for that song, were u refering to someone?"
I said no and he proceeded to ask if I still liked her. I told him no. In fact, I wanted to say,
I detest her...
Life goes on...
Somehow after this long, I'm still surrounded by this sense of lost and loneliness. It just dosent seem to let me go. I wish I could just leave it all behind and move on but that just wont happen.
Each time I see her, memories are refreshed, feelings spun out of control and pain surfaces. I just cant seem to stop thinking...
I know alot of you out there who are reading this would probably think or say that since its been so long, its time to move on. I've tried but I just cant... I seem to be stuck in my past.
This strange feeling just feels so weird. Neither am I very upset neither am I happy. I feel so lonely, so helpless and it freaks me out.
I'm sick...
Life goes on...
Each time I see her, memories are refreshed, feelings spun out of control and pain surfaces. I just cant seem to stop thinking...
I know alot of you out there who are reading this would probably think or say that since its been so long, its time to move on. I've tried but I just cant... I seem to be stuck in my past.
This strange feeling just feels so weird. Neither am I very upset neither am I happy. I feel so lonely, so helpless and it freaks me out.
I'm sick...
Life goes on...