Monday, September 24, 2007
I grew up with a grandfather who really loved me. He would shower me with everything that I wanted and more. Perhaps it was because I am a boy, but that still doesn't change the fact that he loves me.
Yet I took it all for granted. And worst still, I shunned him when he needed me the most.
Grandfather fell ill back around 1999 and from then on, it was a downward spiral. He never recovered and passed away peacefully in his sleep.
I however, during his final days, did not bother or cared about him as I should. Instead, I chose to pretend that he wasn't there.
Was it because, I knew the inevitable and was afraid of it? Or was I just afraid of how weak and fragile he looked in bed?
Whatever the reason, the excuse... There's no hiding. No denying the fact that I, as a grandson failed to do my duty, my part. Failed to return his love.
Till today and perhaps till my last breathe, I will always regret...
However, I swear I won't let that happen again. I know my grandmother's time is short. It won't be long. But I'm going to do all I can to show her that I love her as much as she does.
God help me.
Life goes on...
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
I dreamt about my late grandfather who watched me grew up. In fact, I have never dreamt about him since he passed away till last night.
In my dreams, I dreamt that he was with us, in the office eating longans. He was happy and very smartly dressed - like how he usually dressed before he fell ill. He was smiling! =)
I'm glad his happy.
On a different topic thou, how many of us live in lies? How often do we say something and yet not mean it? Call someone by a different name and yet not mean it?
What happens when saying "I love you" becomes nothing more than a casual, polite reply? What happens when calling someone "dear" simply become a formality?
Damn...
Life goes on...
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Here's a brief update on EnSabathNur. Its a little messy or rather in drips and draps but simple.
Work wise, its still the same. Relationships with colleagues are getting better by the day. Only bad news is, I maybe changing department. But shouldn't be much of a difference. The office is small anyways.
Health wise, its pretty bad. Aching shoulder, knees, ankles and wrist. Combination of muay thai, gym and lack of rest is most probably the cause. But I reckon they'd disappear in time to come.
Talking about muay thai, its getting more and more fun. With the moves becoming more natural, everything just falls into place. And now I kick so hard, my legs actually hurt the next day. Its all good thou. Destress!
Gym wise, its pretty much the same. Just that now there are 2 girls. Well, not that they know me or what so ever. Its just that their presence disrupts my concentration. Haha...
First is skimpy girl. She has a nice bod and pretty well blossomed for her size. And all she wears is a tank top and short shorts. Woooo.. Hot! But....
Cardio girl is what drives me crazy! Hahaha... I met her today! She comes in and spends alot of time doing cardio - which explains her great figure. Looks around my age, at very most older by 2 years. No idea why but I feel attracted to her. Maybe I'm just desperate, like which guy isn't. Lol.. Most probably a fad. Will pass soon..
Grandmother wise, she's suffering from dementia and its getting worst every day. She talks randomly and not to mention freaky too. Keeps talking about seeing people whom have passed on. *shivers*
Apart from all those, life's pretty much alright. Hope you guys are doing fine too. Don't forget to tag yea?
Life goes on...
Monday, September 10, 2007
Quote of the Year:
"It takes two hands to clap but a bitch to cheat."
Word.
Life goes on...
Saturday, September 08, 2007
A happy birthday that wasn't.
Last Thursday was my Mom's birthday. And the day went on as usual, work and all. Then my Mom told me to go up to my grandmother's place (she lives near our office) to get her to exercise and so I went.
She refused to get out of bed initially. But upon much persuasion, I managed to get her to walk to the living room with my supporting her together with a walking stick.
I sat her down at the dinning table and left her there to drink her apple juice. Seeing all's fine and dandy, I decided to make a move - there's work still left to be done. So the maid walked me to the door and when I turned around, I saw my grandmother get up on her own, falling forward, landing on her knees and crashing her head onto the edge of the table.
I swear I'll never forget that.
Called for a ambulance and after x-rays and all, thankfully, only her right knee cap fractured. Then again, she may never walk again.
Life goes on...
Monday, September 03, 2007
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That's my office desk aka the candy bar! Whohohoohoho~Life goes on...
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Times like these, I wish I lived alone.
We couldn't decide on a place for dinner. Well, more like my Dad couldn't decide where he wanted to go. So that resulted in a long discussion which ended in going to a western restaurant that was recommended on TV.
So ok, we head off. Then my Dad, started bitching, "I can't seem to orientate myself.", "I don't know where the hell are we.", "I hate going out at night.", and "I can't read the map, I give up. You guys decide where to go." And I'm like WTF?
Then when we finally got to the place, we had to wait. He was quiet during the wait, so that was alright.
But when we got down to ordering and waiting, he started bitching again. "Why this don't have, that don't have?", "Why do we have to wait so long?", "I'm never come back here again." and "Saturday night best is stay at home and don't go out."
The wait was really long like abt 30-45 mins. I admit, the wait was rather ridiculous but come on. Its bad enough that everyone's very hungry and WE all have to wait. So stop all that bitching and try to make it easy for everyone.
But Nooooooooo... He bitches and bitches and bitches.
Before dinner is even done, he leaves the restaurant and heads down to the coffee shop for his 'dinner'.
The moment he left, I turned to my Mom, "Kao pei, kao pei, kao pei. Whole night kao pei. I should have just stayed at home."
So we settled the bill thereafter and went to look for him at the coffee shop. He ordered Hor Fun.
The moment we sat down, he started bitching again. "I don't know what the hell I'm eating.", "Should have gone for teochew porridge."
My mom couldn't take it and walked away.
Life goes on...