Ian McKellen
Richard GereLife goes on...
Ipod TouchMy new love.
Life goes on...
Hmmm... True of false? I think you guys can tell better. Haha...Life goes on...
This has got to be one of the best evening I've ever had, simple but absolutely awesome. Thanks angel. :)
Life goes on...
What is the best thing that's happened to you so far?
Life goes on...
Just something I'd like to share,
The Toy Boy
ELOQUENT and well-dressed, he seems a typical 30-something Malaysian yuppie.
But John, 34 (not his real name) leads a double life. He's a paralegal worker by day and a toy boy by night.
His gigolo sideline yields more than triple the salary he earns as a law executive.
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On an average month, he makes up to RM10,000 ($4,300) servicing older female clients.
And that's not counting the lavish presents they shower on him.
Also in this gigolo circle is the 34-year-old Algerian man who has been arrested in connection with the murder of a Singaporean woman in one of Kuala Lumpur's party zones, Bangsar.
The woman, 50-year-old Mahani Abdullah, was found dead on 3 Nov in a condominum.
Like the Algerian gigolo, John is no stranger to Singaporean women.
Six years ago, he met a Singaporean woman in her 40s while partying at Hard Rock Cafe in Kuala Lumpur.
'She was having marriage problems and was looking for comfort,' he said.
After making eye contact, John started chatting with her.
'I asked if she was having problems and whether she needed to talk to somebody,' he said.
He went from confidante to lover in a matter of a few dates.
'On the fifth time or so, I started asking for money. After all, she was wealthy,' he said.
She didn't seem to mind. In fact, the woman bought him a Breitling watch which cost several thousand dollars for his birthday.
He said: 'It's my fancy watch - I still wear it on special occasions and for business meetings.'
'I need the money to sustain my lifestyle - I'm a party animal,' he said.
He also has a penchant for expensive watches. On his wrist is a $5,000 Omega watch he bought with his earnings.
'The money is so good, it's hard to stop,' he said.
The self-confessed seeker of older women said what he enjoys most about the sideline is the pampering.
'All I have to do is ask for what I want and I usually get it,' he said.
The women he meets, he said, are usually rich ones who have been neglected by their husbands.
'Some of them just want companionship. They're all not in it for the sex. But of course, there are those who only want sex,' he added.
Most of his clients, he says, are older women he chats up at nightclubs.
He said: 'I spend time observing them - their body language, the way they dress and the way they style their hair.
'You can guess their background from their dressing and the way they behave.'
He targets affluent women in their 40s because of their 'spending power'.
What keeps them happy, he says, is the fact that he tries to make them each feel special.
'I have a pet name for each one of them, like 'sayang' or 'darling'. I just need to remember them,' he said, laughing.
In the initial stages, John says he makes it a point to take the women out for dinner or drinks - his treat.
'Through conversation, I can tell if I'll be able to get money out of them. I succeed most of the time,' he said.
Flowers are also a good way to keep his clients happy, he says.
'Different-coloured roses for different moods,' he said.
And though his relationships look mercenary, John insists he cares for each of his clients.
He said: 'I care about what they are going through, I worry for them when they are having hard times.
'I treat each of them as friends.'
John says he has served as many as five women in a single week.
'It gets tiring sometimes, but I enjoy my work - I like meeting different people,' he said.
URGED TO QUIT
John says his family and most of his friends don't know about his double life. Concerned friends who do know, however, have often urged him to quit.
He said: 'I have thought about quitting, but not any time soon. Maybe I will, if I find the right person to settle down with.
'Sometimes, I wonder if having this much money really matters that much.
'Maybe eventually it'll all come to nothing.'
Toy boys like John are sometimes employed by Malaysian private investigators in their course of work.
One PI, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said the toy boys are often planted as decoys at night spots to attract the attention of straying wives.
He said: 'It's luck of the draw - sometimes, the women just aren't attracted to the toy boy.'
He has investigated unfaithful Singaporean women who keep Malaysian toy boys, most of them Chinese males.
The youngest was just 18.
He said: 'Many of these women meet these young men at nightclubs. The young men are sweet-talkers who know how to charm the ladies.'
The women - some of whom are businesswomen with dealings in KL - are often generous with their toy boys.
'They take them on shopping sprees for clothes and also take them to nice restaurants,' the private investigator said.
These outings are often followed by dinner, drinks at nightspots, and then finally to the privacy of a hotel.Life goes on...
Girls have been telling me, NS has robbed me off my boyfriend. But honestly, I think that isn't really hard to handle especially for someone like me who is used to seeing my 'girlfriend' literally once every month - if I'm lucky.
In any case, that's not the point. The thing here is, NS has robbed me of my friends and indirectly my life. It's worst if your like me, growing up only with a close group of males who are of the same age as you.
Look at me now. Everyone's that close to me has gone in. Sure, they come out on weekends. But what difference does that make? Family, girlfriend, what's left of the weekends?
Even if we do meet. I'm just simply an outcast, a misfit - no longer a part of "them". Everyone would be talking about NS, NS and more NS. I can't blame them, because like what one of them said, "that's the only thing we know now".
Ever since then, there's this void in my life, this emptiness. And its eating me up from the inside.
So I turned to games, to movies, to gym. And at the end of it all, it makes me feel even worst. I get lost in own world, in my own space. But when it all comes to an end and reality strikes, its just like a roller coaster ride, one minute you are up there enjoying yourself, the next minute you find yourself hurling downwards into the depths of reality.
To top it all off like blood shed on the blade, there's "her".
She seems so capable, so capable of amplifying my pain. She builds me up and tears me down. Day after day after day. Yet I continue to allow myself to suffer. Why? I can't even remember the last time she asked how was I.
The gift I got for her when I went to KL was a perfume. I delivered it right to her doorstep. There was no thanks. Instead, a reply that even the most insensitive of bastards or bitches would think twice before making. She replied by saying, "Oh, I found out that alot of old women use it. I think I'll pass it to my mom".
Nice going Alvin. You might as well have gone after her mom.
If you do read this, my point is not to question your friendship. In fact, I thank you for bothering to read. However, my point is for you to understand how it feels like, when those around you just aren't the same anymore and the one closest to you brings you nothing more than pain and regret.
Life goes on...
I'm not one who really believes in horoscope. But this one really stood out,
"You might think that your good intentions should be enough to make a relationship work. Unfortunately, this isn't the case, especially as you run into obstacles with others today that require a careful analysis of the partnership. Practice emotional detachment for a change; allowing for an unexpected bend in the path could lead you to higher levels of intimacy. "
Emotional detachment... Sounds like something I need.
Easier said than done.
Life goes on...
Give Until There's Nothing Left
No one told me the right way, the right way to go about this
So I'll figure it out for myself
Cause how much is too much to give you
Well, I may never know so I'll just give until there's nothing else
Yeah, I'll give give give until there's nothing else
Give my all until it all runs out
Give give and I'll have no regrets
I'll give until there's nothing left
I'll give
No one told me how bad I need you (I need you)
But I somehow arrived at that conclusion all by myself (all by myself)
And I want all you have to offer (to offer)
So I'll offer myself and I'll just give until there's nothing else
Yeah, I'll give give give until there's nothing else
Give my all until it all runs out
Give give and I'll have no regrets
I'll give until there's nothing left
Yeah, I'll give give give until there's nothing else
Give my all until it all runs out
Give give and I'll have no regrets
I'll give until there's nothing left
Sometimes it seems like all I ever do
Is ask for things until I ask too much of you
But that's not the way (that's not the way)
I wanna live (I wanna live)
I need to change (I need to change)
Yeah something's gotta give
Yeah something's gotta...
Give give give until there's nothing else
Give my all until it all runs out
Give give and I'll have no regrets
I'll give until there's nothing left
I'll give give give until there's nothing else
Give my all until it all runs out
Give give, give until there's nothing left
I'll give
Life goes on...
I used to blog with much ease but lately its been getting harder and harder to pen down those haphazard and random thoughts of mine.
Perhaps its the lack of practice that has resulted in a decline of my literature skills. Yet I can't help but wonder if perhaps its the thoughts that I'm trying to pen that is the cause of it all.
So it seems that once again, I'm willing to fall prey to the very same person who has hurt me so deeply. Is it that I'm naive? Or that I'm forgiving. Maybe I'm just dumb. Actually, I think I am.
Chances have been given, opportunities offered. Yet it seems she isn't reciprocating my efforts.
Problem is, I shouldn't even be trying. I should be walking away.
Its tough being alone on a journey that seems impossible. Friends are hardly around - for those who are, I just feel bad to always keep calling on them. For those who aren't, I don't expect them to be around anyways.
And my family's the last place I'd seek support from.
I guess its back to how it all started before. Me and my bottle of sorrows.
Life goes on...