Sunday, December 30, 2007
Here's how my Saturday went.
It was gym in the morning, then lunch at the club. Went home after that to change and rest a bit.
Then it was off to the airport to fetch my Australian relatives (in case your wondering - my dad's sis married an Aussie.) We brought them to my grandmother's place and followed by dinner at a restaurant.
After sending everyone home, I headed down to Bern's place for party/gathering? I had the idea in mind that it was going to be a party. But I guess I went down too late. Haha... Reached there like just before midnight if I'm not wrong and most of the peeps already left.
So we were chilling, playing cards and bbq-ing. And yes, I FINALLY DROVE HER BEAUTIFUL VOLVO S80! Hahha... Her mom said yes and so we took her car out for supper. It was like utopia driving that car again. I missed the good old days with the Volvo.
I got myself 3 new bottles of Vodka this X'mas. The disco version, Rasberri and Vanilla. Shall upload a picture of my collection soon. Hahhaha...
Oh and those of you guys going to Brunei, take care man. Hope to see you guys soon.
Happy New Year guys! Cheers!
Life goes on...
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Man, today's another one of those days that comes under the category, "What a Day!".
Started the day by heading down to the club for a swim and then to Mount Alvernia Hospital's pharmacy to get my medicine for my knee pain.
Had to rush home after that to change and get to the temple to pray my grandmother.
Thereafter, I went down to Orhcard to meet Bern for lunch and a movie. Lunch was at Billy
Bombers (my choice) and it disappointed me alot. The steak I had was rubbery and just tasteless. Bern's however, looked tempting. Haha... Movie was National Treasure and it well... Didn't live up to my expectations. Alot of pieces just put together without really explaining why or how.
After all that, I had to rush home to pick up my mom and head down to the club again. This year for X'mas I decided to get her a full body massage. I went for it at the same time. Truth be told, I didn't enjoy myself. I spent half the time squirming around because it tickles! hahaha... No idea how my mom and stand it. Maybe she's used to it I guess.
Dinner was at the club. My dad and sis came down. Had dinner at the terrace and then some drinks. I thought my mom and sister how to play pool but as most of you know since I suck at it, they sort of, were mostly on their own. Hahah...
Literally, spent the whole day rushing from one point to another. But it was FUN!
Well, that's my Boxing day for you. Haha...
Life goes on...
Monday, December 24, 2007
Christmas is just a mere 2 days away. I don't know why, but I have this feeling that something's missing...
Life goes on...
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Basketball 10.30 am - 3.00 pm
Haircut at Plaza Singapura 4.30 pm - 6.15 pm
Dinner at Orchard 6.30 pm - 8.00 pm
Drinks at a bar 8.15 pm - 10.15 pm
A pot of tea at Orchard 10.30 pm - 11.30 pm
Supper at Newton Circus 12.00 mn - 2.00 am
Home sweet Home 2.30 am
Life should be like this... Hahah.. Here's a big thanks to everyone. Thank You! :)
Life goes on...
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Its a Shih Tzu pup. Cute? We've decided to name it Fuji although it is still yet to be our's. Haha...
Life goes on...
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
your heart is not open so i must go
the spell has been broken, i loved you so
freedom comes when you learn to let go
creation comes when you learn to say no
you were my lesson i had to learn
i was your fortress you had to burn
pain is a warning that something's wrong
i pray to god that it won't be long
do ya wanna go higher?
there's nothing left to try
there's no place left to hide
there's no greater power
than the power of good-bye
your heart is not open so i must go
the spell has been broken, i loved you so
you were my lesson i had to learn
i was your fortress
there's nothing left to lose
there's no more heart to bruise
there's no greater power
than the power of good-bye
learn to say good-bye
i yearn to say good-bye
Life goes on...
Give me the strength please.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special.
Literally, like the song says.
What a difference a year made. Last Christmas we just got together and after a year of pain it seems like its finally run its course.
I don't know how how it has ended up like this. I should have seen it coming. I knew the end would ultimately be like this and in a way, I've been preparing myself for it.
At least now, it doesn't hurt as much as before. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.
Perhaps she read my last post?
Perhaps its her family problems that have resurfaced once again?
Perhaps it just wasn't going to work out?
Then again, can the time we spent really be considered as time spent "together"? It barely felt like a relationship. In fact, it shouldn't even have been called a relationship.
Its not that I didn't try to improve it. But everytime I try, I end up shot down.
Which girlfriend or boyfriend;
- would not reply their partner's sms-es?
- would not pick up their calls? would not return missed ones?
- would meet only once in a 2 weeks; if lucky, 1.
- would meet only for a few hours and then rush off to meet some one else?
- would feel so distant, so stranger-like when together?
- would turn to friends instead of their partner in times of need?
- would seem so much happier without their partner?
I haven't been happy. Yet all these while, it was my love for her that kept me going. That someday, I would be able to change things. I wouldn't mind if we are able to work things out. But we don't seem to be able. All these problems just get swept under the carpet, like skeletons in the closet.
It hurts to see her so happy with others, it hurts to know that when she is in trouble, she'd rather turn to others. It hurts to see her in those pictures especially those with other guys. My limit is tested time and time again.
Yet everytime I somehow just seem to be able to swallow them all.
These are the things that I should be talking to her instead of blogging about it. Yet the time we have together is so short, there isn't a chance.
And now it seems that the pain has finally out-weighed the love. The pain that has kept on growing and the love that seems almost non-exsistence.
I think its time to move on...
Its not me she needs. And she's not the one for me.
I'm gonna need all the help I can get. God bless me.
Life goes on...
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Christmas is around the corner and I suppose everyone in their own ways are preparing for it. Me on my part, I'm trying to get my lazy ass out of the bed and onto the chair to do up some cards and stuff.
While writing this card to this particular girl, I couldn't help but reminiscence and wonder, what if I had gone out with her instead of my current/ex/"whatever you like to call her".
Perhaps, I'd be much happier and that my love isn't going to waste like it is now. Maybe I could have made her much happier than I can to you. Maybe I won't be constantly disappointed and let down. If only I had made the right choice back then.
So many perhaps, maybes and ifs.
If only... If only I've learnt to look beyond appearances and appreciate what's inside. Then I wouldn't be so miserable right now.
Yes, miserable. And its all because of you.
Life goes on...
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
I've never been a strong person emotionally. But never would I have expected to breakdown in front of all my colleagues at work today.
I was just sitting there, do my work as usual and my thoughts began to wander. One followed the other and before I knew it, I was just sitting crying.
It didn't help that my work place was a mere 5 minutes walk from my grandmother's house.
It didn't help that during her last week I did not visit her.
It didn't help that I regretted. I truly regretted for things I've done and things I did not do.
The call came in on Wednesday night. My grandmother's maid called to say my granny was acting strange. So we rushed down and we were there at 12+ in the night. Only to find that my granny was sound asleep, snoring too. She was oblivious to our presence and chatter. So we left, thinking it was just another false alarm.
The second call came at 7 am the following morning to say that my granny is once again acting strange. I said ok and told the maid I'll be on my way down. But I thought it was just another one of those 'false alarm' so this time I took my time.
The third call came in at 7.15am. This time the maid said my granny has gone. I was shocked. I rushed to tell my parents. They too were both worried for the worst and at the same time, wondering if it was another false alarm.
So I rushed down this time, without my family. I got there at 7.30am. Only to see my granny lying there. Its one thing to see a dead person in a coffin, its another to see granny there, lying on her bed. Yet I have to make sure that she is "really gone".
I was there all alone, the only family. I had to call the ambulance, and inform the rest of my family.
I never would have thought that her death would have such an impact on me. In front of my family, for my mom I had to be strong. But when they are not around. Or when I'm left alone. The emotions just overwhelm me. The regrets... The pain... The misses...
I miss her so much now. I'm so sorry...
I need to get away, I need a time out.
Life goes on...
I need you more than ever... Do you understand?
I had to delete that last post. I'm just not able to see that picture over and over again each time I come back to my blog.
Somehow reality still hasn't sunk in yet. It still feels so strange.
Life goes on...
Somehow reality still hasn't sunk in yet. It still feels so strange.
Life goes on...
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
I would really love to have someone to ball with me.
*sighs*
Life goes on...
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Today, I saw the saddest Christmas tree in my life. You must be wondering why should a Christmas tree be bring about sadness rather than joy. Well, that's because hanging on the tree amongst those lights are little cards that bear the needs of people much less fortunate than me and you. There written on one card, was a little girl at the age of 11 wishing for a standing fan.
Think about it. What are you wishing for this Christmas? Then compare that with the little girl's wish.
Sad isn't it? It nearly brought tears to my eyes as I stood reading all those cards hanging on the tree.
Life goes on...
Saturday, December 01, 2007
I'm back to gym once again. Thursday was my first visit in 2 weeks since I fell sick and I'm actually quite sad. I've lost all my hardwork in that mere span of 14 days. *sighs* Got to work doubly hard to get everything back again.
On to something else..
Spent the evening with Glenda at Suntec running about getting my ipod stuff and Christmas presents. And I'm just about almost done. Come to think of it, it ain't really alot of stuff but its the thought that counts right? lol...
Anyways, here's some pictures.
Making a fool out of ourselves. LOL
Christmas is coming! Joy! Haha... No idea why but I'm so pumped up for this year's Christmas. The lightings at Orchard Road this year are pretty good especially at the stretch travelling down from Taka to PS. The white warm lights just make the place feels like its snowing. Nice...
Life goes on...